don't let us slay this one tonight
it's me that you have gotta choose
all those girls you meet
sting with every heartbeat

Yum

Yum

but which one is tastier???????

meh

I guess I tried but it wasn't enough :(

haven't blogged for so long.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

True Say.

‘You can do it kid.’ He smiled. ‘Remember Ava sometimes we have to take a chance, let go of the railing and fall into the abyss below. It's worth the fall, believe me.’


- Bittersweet Symphony, Toni Laporta

Last night was wonderful!

I love going to parties so much! especially when you don't know everyone and you make new friends! It's so lovely :):) I did embarass myself once again, but it was definitely worth it :)
I am doing my best to live my life to the full!

Those times I tried to get my freak on with you failed. Now I know which way to go, I'm as happy as a middle aged, single man with a trunk of porn dvds!

YAY

Today.

Today, could potentially be an important day for me, so I'm going to mark it via my blog




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One day, I'm going to be like them.

Opertunities Waheeyyyy

Invitations. I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.

LOL

I just had a major laughing fit.
hahaa. I remembered the time I threw up my pasta, after getting butterflies after seeing you. Thinking back, that is just mad.

I am so immature.

I really really really am. I'm feeling numinous right now, if I'm using the word in the right context. I eat my food every day and I go to school and all. I am one of nearly 7 billion people. People being born and people dying every day. Am I important? Maybe I am to some people, maybe I'm not, am I more important than the millions of poor people suffering in Sudan? No, I'm not, why do we have all the fabulous resources instead of them? Why are people so selfish and shallow? Why don't we see ugly people on TV anymore, why are most actors and actressed judged first on their looks? Why do we need these beautifully decorated houses, beautifully decorated bodies? We're all guilty of it and I'm not making it any better posting a blog about it :/ For such a tiny spec in the universe, we, the human race, do make a mighty big fuss. Should I just make the most out of my life? Seeing as we live so fully, if you're looking at perspective or should I finish it? I'm quite happy as I am thank you very much. Some of us are so engrossed in life that it's mad, life is such a deep thing, there are so many different meanings and different levels and there's so much to think about, but there is so much we don't know about our life, and the lives of others? There could be forces out there seeing the world, as if it's inside a snow globe. Then there's me, worrying about what to wear on saturday.

dads/boyfriends meh, same problem really

This blog is full of complete bullshit. I don't cry when I think of the good times, but I still get butterflies every time I think of them, should I be relying on my body to give me the answer? haha
Maybe it's the best judge because I'm so messed up in my head atm. Maybe I should listen to my heart, however, if I was listening to my heart right now, I would be bingeing on ginger crunch biscuits. Maybe I will just follow my feet, see where my feet want to go and just let the good times roll because I am young and free with no legal contracts binding me. I think I've gone numb, numb inside because I can't feel it, I can't feel the effect this has had on me and one day it's going to dawn on me that I no longer have you there like you were when I was little and I'm a bit scared.

You Old Rom

I remember back in the day when you'd squeeze me so tight in your arms with your furry jumper and we'd stay like that for half an hour until we absoloutely had to go. We'd read comical books about sex jokes in Borders and talk about anime and what you'd do if you discovered your mum was actually a lesbian. Borders has shut down now :(

I am a mole.

I am digging myself a hole in the ground, in which I am shovelling deeper and deeper every day until I'm so far in that I'm not going to be able to get out of it. Bummer.

mood: indifferent

Yes, I'm feeling very indifferent right now, I don't really know what's going on with me atm, I think it's just puberty but gah, I'm all over the place. I don't know wheter I'm coming or going right now, I'm turning into a complete fag, I have the feeling I'm getting on everyone's nerves atm but mehhhhh whatever.
sket.

Can't wait for saturday!

IT'S GOING TO BE WACK (In a good way)

yum

Why don't we get these gorgeous landscapes in Watford?

I feel like posting a blog, but I don't know what to write...

So I'm just going to say that I've got nothing to complain about right now. :)

just to whore out my music myspace:

www.myspace.com/helensbutters if you're interested in that sort of thing ;)

I FEEL A FEVER COMING ON

LET'S PARTY

Hop on everyone!

oh dear

I feel a little bit guilty for wanting to stab you now.

:/

You know that your friendship isn't great when you resort to seriously discussing facebook etiquette at lunch times.

I was just thinking...

I went out with him for nearly FIVE months and yet there were no pictures of us together!? That just shows how weird our relationship was. Hhaaaa I guess it's good.
Kind of a shame on one hand, but if I'd chosen that other guy, we'd have had lots of pictures together. Neeeeever mind. He was lovely and that other guy was just a whore really so :)



^I would kill for her legs.

well, that last blog was a complete lie.

UPON THE BED OF EMBARRASSMENT

not only does he think I'm a complete drunk slag bitch, but that I also obsess over him to the point that I write songs solely about him. GAH. This is embarrassing!
It's not true either!

This happens every time.

I hand it to you on a plate, and you just shrug it away, what a waste of time. Why do people do this?! I swear everyone does thit to me. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN
GET OFF YOUR BUM.

Don't you just hate it when people make stuff up?

I do it all the time, but not as much as I used to.
You can just tell so easily with some people, at least if you're going to make stuff up to make yourself seem more interesting, do it convincingly. You're meant to be an actress. I don't believe that some man fell down a ditch by homebase and you just left him there, because that is random, and nasty and you only told me that after I told you my wild new year's eve story, maybe my story was more exciting than yours, but it's just one time, I'm not going to stop being your friend just because you had a boring new year's eve, just tell it as it is. I appreciate that so much more than a half arsed attempt at your perception of the other night's reality, if you made this up, how do I know you didn't make those other nights up? How do I know that stuff you said to me a while ago was real?

sad times.

Today I saw my friend's heart break before my eyes :(
The tears were welling up in his eyes and all. Poor boy, I genuinely think he was in love with her, and still probably is. He would be so perfect for her, he's a really nice boy, with her best intentions and everything. It's a real shame she's found someone else. I guess he'll have to get over it, it will be hard I'm sure :/ I remember the first time I thought I was in love and I discovered this boy, the SNWFM was going out with this girl in the year below. It was sad times, but I got over it, it took a while, it took a lot of fake smiles and stuff, and it seems stupid, considering we're so young, but I don't think I've liked a member of the opposite sex in that way before so much, not since then anyway, and that was like a year ago. Well I'm certain this boy will move on eventually, it will take a long time, but he'll get there eventually, it may take a year to forget about her, or longer :/ oh well, he has his remingtons. What a nasty way to begin 2K10.

I would like to thank Will Isaac for the beautiful christmas card

THURSDAY NIGHT fuck.

SO SO SO EMBARRASSING. I knew I was going to get drunk and embarrass myself, but I really did not think I would get drunk thaat much and embarrass myself thaat much.
That was just shameful.

I lost my camera as well. I also majorly pissed off Mr B and declared to the party that I was menstruating.

I saw a picture of my ex boyfriend's hairy butt cheeks on facebook too :/ I'm glad we broke up, if Georgia had seen that she would have fainted, and no one likes it when people faint.