goodbye 2009.

Lots of great and crap things have happened to me this year. It's been a good year overall, so I'm going to list everything that's happened this year, that's really changed things for me.

GCSE Music
My Job at the sound cube teaching kids dance routines
the super ninja warrior from mars saga descended to a sad end.
I got hammered for the first time and ended up majorly embarassing myself
I got off with a stranger
I ate oreos
I got myself my first proper boyfriend, who was lovely and crap at the same time.
Mike Byrne was banged up.
I saw Patrick Wolf live
I met Will Isaac, the most inredible northerner ever.
I met lots of lovely people who I want to stay friends with for as long as possible
I came third in the music GCSE song contest and the st. mix factor!
I played my first gig
I ORGASMED
I got an A* in catholic views on homosexuality

It's been a truly great year. I would loooooooove to thank everyone who's made this year so good for me, but obviously that sounds very clichéd and pompous, so um.
bye 2009, I'll never forget you!

dear lord, give me the strength to dodge his wrath for the second time...

I don't want to dissapoint you again, but you really are not right for me. I should have trusted my instincts, remembered the reasons I dodged your wrath last time. You tyypeeeeeeeeeeee liiiiiikeeeeeee thisssssss. I think you called me "shexay" once too. That's just sick. Not in your way. Go away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop texting me.

Chain smoking

Yeah.. I feel like I'm chain smoking boys now.

Surely there's no harm in a bit of rebound?

Helen, you are not a whore.

I don't really mind being dumped

Yeah I'm alright, it's not that bad, time for some bradley thomas thompson loving really. haha.

It was great when we were together, but then those times in between when you'd never reply to my texts or answer your phone were bad I guess. I wasn't in love, it was nice.



I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag.

never mind

Dishyyyyy

You are the ones who catch me just before I'm about to whack my sorry arse on the cold ice. You're like buoys in the sea, like the flies that eat the crap off a rhino's back :) You're wonderful.

mmmmmm this sounds really silly, considering it wasn't very long and looking back, it didn't seem to mean that much to you
but to me, it did
and EVERYTHING reminds me of you!!!!!! this is a real toughie. You haven't even said it to my face yet, I'm meeting up with you tomorrow so you can do just that. That was a bit of an out of order thing to post on my blog seeing as everyone reading this knows exactly who i'm talking about, I'm really sorry although i know you're not going to read it because you just don't
It's ok, nothard feeelings and all that crap.
I can't even listen to Adam and the Ants anymore
But oh well. Like I posted on my twitter:

Who needs boys for anything other than preventing the human race from extinction?

dang

very smooth boy. very smooth.

why do I even bother moaning?

I have way too much fun with my friends to be complaining about insignificant things like your lack of interest in me!

kyriee eleisonn

THIS IS SO UNFAIR
I didn't sign up for this :(
I thought it would be like sunshine and constant butterflies
But I just feel odd all the time! It's great sometimes, but sometimes it's not, and when it's not, I feel so disgusting and pathetic.

I'm sorry to be one of those people who posts really upsetting, depressing blogs, but I feel crap! Although it could just be because I'm tired and cranky, and my lips are dry and my hair is greasy.

BINGO

Can't wait for thursday!

minx

You're a minx, and you're making me feel like shit atm.
It's awkward, it's pathetic on my part. I feel confused, but I guess it's ok that I'm left in the dark here, because it's just what you're like to everyone

eurgh, I feel really out of the loop :(

get me back in bitch!

oh the irony.

i actually talk to your friends more than i talk to you, they are all lovely though so i don't mind :)

I HATE RADIOHEAD

I'm not feeling it.

noooooooooooooo
I kind of am
damn.



poo
arse
radiohead :o
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

tell me that I'm so fucking special (8)

I'M A CREEP

I dislike radiohead. It's not going to happen. Sorry.

maybe a little bit...
nope. never. never. never.

someone get the karma police on me.

It's amazing what a couple of days spent together can do to you.

Getting close to someone is all about spending time with them, spending time with them in person, and being yourself completely. All you need is:

- An embarrassing story involving yourself + nudity (e.g. falling out of bed naked, whilst staying at a friend's)
- An ipod.
- A long bus/car/train journey.

Voila. You are sorted.

Self pleasure.

Self pleasuring. mmmmmmmmmmmmm, is it good for us? Or are we spoiling ourselves? Are we spoiling those special moments with other people, eating too much Ben & Jerry's will lead to bad things. Too much porn will lead to bad things. Too many grapes will lead to a naked vine. Too much good is going to stop us appreciating it.


skip to 2:05 for the best bit:

I found this funny

"The next student asked God of technology and how one should conduct himself online. And God said to the student, thou shalt embarrass yourself online. The student was confused but God explained it to him. Said God, you will log into facebook drunk and write embarrassing things on your friends profiles. You will message people you are attracted to and then completely forget you have done so. You will post pictures of yourself that will someday be the reason you cannot find a job. The student began to weep so God took a video of this and put it on youtube."

LYRIC FAIL

And as I begin to fall:

Life is beautiful.

I am so pissed off with you right now.

Yes, I gave up precious time I could have been spending with people that actually cared about me, to drink disgustingly creamy hot chocolate with you, while you sat texting my aunt. You may have been grateful for the shoes, but I don't think you were particularly grateful that your daughter put mascara on for you and trekked into town with a gigantic yellow bag full of shoes weighing a tonne. Mike, you have failed me as a father. Yes, I am interested to know what you're doing nowadays, but relationships work two ways and you need to be interested in my life as well.

My worst nightmare :|

I'm so lazy I could eat a horse.

If you knew how lazy I was, you would be ashamed. I am ashamed of myself. I am going to fail all my mocks this week and it's all because I'm way too lazy. I just can't bring myself to revise, I just can't, for some reason, there's is this thing in my brain, stopping me from getting myself together and cracking open an excercise book. I enjoy revising, I love making little diagrams to help me remember all my bits and bobs. This is just terrible. I'm going to fail science completely. I'm going to fail :|
But it's ok, they're mocks I guess. Apart from French :/ mmmmm. At least I'm not blaming my french teacher, she's a dreadful teacher, I bet she's very fun when she's drunk though, I also bet she has nailed way too many men in her 30-or-so years. She is kind of sexy, she would be sexy if she didn't wear those awfully tight trousers. They don't do anything for her, they just make her look cheap :/ she's not a size 8 anymore, although she's not fat. I'm going to buy her some new trousers for christmas. She would appreciate that, I reckon.




This isn't actually my french teacher by the way ^

soo many choices!

I better make my mind up sharpish! I've got 13 days to choose which subjects I want to take for A level. Wow. I feel very grown up right now, this time next year Peter and Paul will be driving me around in their nissan Micras, popping off to Mcdonalds for lunch and recieving weekly hand jobs in the common room!

Woahhh.
Do you ever get those moments when you think, how much you've still got to experience, there is so much in life, so many emotions, so many situations, so much worse things than coursework deadlines and parents, there's disease and poverty and love and sex and stds and unplanned pregnancies, there's fines and jail sentences, unlicensed cab drivers, court orders, abusive boyfriends, rapists, murderers, friends on the verge of suicide, drug addictions, eating disorders, harassment in the workplace. It's overwhelming. Do I want to grow up? Possibly, being 18, experiencing a world of freedom and oppertunities must come with a price. That price is the government I guess :/

With you it's all talk. you say you'll come round, you say you'll come and fetch your shoes, you say you'll get on the wagon, you say this and you say that. We all know you'll be in prison soon enough.



So come and get your shoes before I forget about you all together. I've pretty much forgotten anyway, those times we went for bike rides in the summer are barely existant in my brain. Good luck. byeeee

You need to open up.

You just need to open up a little bit, I'll open up a bit too, and we'll see how it goes :)